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Ian Murphy

 

Ian Murphy on Twitter

Ian Murphy ·
@MurphyFrown
I have Covid AND a newborn baby so I'm going to need you to bend the rules and put out a new Wordle every six and a half minutes
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In reply toVeronica Aguilar
@VeronicaHornig SAME!!
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Ian Murphy ·
@MurphyFrown
It's fun that 24 hours after the Super Bowl the commercials are just commercials that are played too often and suck
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Ian Murphy ·
@MurphyFrown
When did kids' valentines at school become some sort of gift bag arms race?
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Ian Murphy ·
@MurphyFrown
Bluey is the best kids programming but I need a hyper realistic episode where Bandit yells "if I have to play this game for one more minute I'm going to set my face on fire" and then lies on the bathroom floor for 45 minutes
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In reply to✍🏼 roxana | ✊🏼 zivar | ⚒️ hadadi
@roxana_hadadi @vulture Watching the last episode, I yelled "get to the aliens." No one else was in the room.
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Ian Murphy ·
@MurphyFrown
Does everyone else buy hummus on everything shopping trip, despite always having at least 2 open containers already in the fridge?
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Ian Murphy ·
@MurphyFrown
My brain: You will never see those people again and you don't ever have to think about that unpleasant encounter again

Also my brain: Thinks about that unpleasant encounter for the rest of my life
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Ian Murphy ·
@MurphyFrown
My daughter found an old birthday card that plays a jaunty version of "Happy Birthday" and this is what hell is.
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Ian Murphy ·
@MurphyFrown
My email is too complicated https://t.co/cxmZWQEmLc
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Ian Murphy ·
@MurphyFrown
No one tells you that like 30% of your adult life is just spent loading and unloading the dishwasher
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Ian Murphy ·
@MurphyFrown
No, YOU'RE re-watching Mamma Mia while answering emails
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Ian Murphy ·
@MurphyFrown
It's fun when my phone is like try portrait mode and I'm like that won't help
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In reply toKate Hamill
@katerone You're a monster.
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Ian Murphy ·
@MurphyFrown
Looking forward to the mob speaking at the 2024 Republican convention
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Ian Murphy ·
@MurphyFrown
Aren't we all just an unidentified monolith standing alone in the dessert?
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In reply toKate Hamill
@katerone @syracusestage Yes, this is fantastic.
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Ian Murphy ·
@MurphyFrown
Grabbing people off the streets. This is terrifying. https://t.co/S8E1qE2iyt
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PRO_NYC @protest_nyc
This video from near Madison Square Park confirms the rumors that NYPD used an unmarked van to make an arrest today.
https://t.co/4MB45FY7m3
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Ian Murphy ·
@MurphyFrown
This will, no doubt, be my best quarantine purchase by far @DefectorMedia https://t.co/adIJBTObMn
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Ian Murphy ·
@MurphyFrown
I drank a bottle of wine while watching a Board of Education meeting on zoom last night, in case you were wondering if I still party
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